sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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