look no pants
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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