guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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