i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
