idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
