franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
