I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
