Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
