Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
