You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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