He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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