the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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