remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
