there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
