How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize