brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
