Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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