Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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