the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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