Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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