I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
