my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
