yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
