Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
