Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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