I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the condom got lost in my hair
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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