we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
