Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
