I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
