You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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