dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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