He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
