Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize