Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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