The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
