He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just invented taco cereal.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
