I just saw a hot homeless man
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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