Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
