there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
