this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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