Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
