we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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