That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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