D3 body, D1 cock
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
