It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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