Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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