Already got asked if we're dating
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
