I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
