i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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