she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize