there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
