So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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