can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
