The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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