So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
