We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
