It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
