Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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