Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
