he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
