Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
