Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
