Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
