i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
