idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
