Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
