I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Too much gin, very little bucket
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
