Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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