We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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