you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
