Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
