She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
