apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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