I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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